I ran my first marathon in 2021. Like most runners, or really for anyone who trains or puts in some activity or works towards a big event, right before that run, I had this nagging feeling that I didn't do enough training or preparation. Truth be told, I hadn't. Sure, some long runs here and there, but not the dedication, focus, and hard training that is required for a marathon. So as I began, my thoughts went to, "Okay, I'm doing this. This is cool. It's fine. I can do this. Everything is under control. I deserve to be here, and I am perfectly capable. I can and will do this."
After running for seven and a half hours, yes that's right, you read that right, no shame in my slow running game, I finally completed my first marathon. It wasn't easy - I faced many unexpected challenges and had to make several adjustments along the way. Despite all the training, nothing can fully prepare you for a marathon. You only truly learn from the experience itself. Although I didn't finish in the time I was hoping for, much slower than that, I was proud of myself for pushing through the aches and pains to reach the finish line.
Parenting can be a challenging task, often leaving parents wishing for a handbook or instruction manual to guide them. While there are many books available on parenting, they may not necessarily provide the exact solutions to the unique challenges faced by each parent and child. Parenting is like running a marathon, well kind of like a marathon. There are constant adjustments to be made, you experience highs and lows, and you cover a lot of distance, from children to young adults to adult adults (Yes I just made that up). Consistency is key, just like how runners maintain a steady pace throughout the race to achieve their best time.
Let's talk about those adjustments, shall we? But before that, let me share a little of my own parenting experience. I have three children; a 22-year-old daughter, a 20-year-old son, and a 16-year-old son. Each of them are different in some ways, yet similar in others. My daughter is doing extremely well in her young adult life, living on her own, working, and going to college. She is seriously crushing the whole independent thing. I was nowhere near where she is now when I was her age. My 20-year-old son is more consistent in his line of work than I ever was at that age. My 16-year-old son is incredibly open and curious about things that you wouldn't think a 16-year-old would be. It's pretty cool to see.
I think I've bragged on my kids enough. Back to those adjustments we were going to talk about. They can be difficult. Parenting adjustments are no exception. You go from needed like crazy when they are little to not being needed as much because they got this and don't need your help. An adjustment. You go from sometimes not even really knowing how to answer things for yourself to having to figure out the answer for not only yourself but your child. An adjustment. You try and figure out how in the world do I parent without actually parenting or them thinking I am parenting them when they are adults.
That's all a mouthful to say and wrap your head around but again, an adjustment. Improving a relationship with your children, when you didn't have a good one with your parents, yet another adjustment and challenge. But parenting is like running a marathon. Both require consistency, self-belief, hard work, and adjustments. Although it's a lot, it's rewarding. In both, you care about doing your best and finishing strong. Don't beat yourself up; your best is always enough. Keep parenting and be the best you can be for your kids.
